So I’ve got this kid going into sophomore year at Eastern High, right? And he’s all hyped up about football tryouts this fall. Problem is, I needed to figure out practice schedules around my work shifts. Total headache trying to find when this stuff kicks off.
The Paper Chase Disaster
First thing I did was dig through that mountain of papers they sent home last semester. You know, that stack that magically turns into drawer liner? Ripped open every envelope with the school logo. Found cafeteria menus, PTA meeting dates, even permission slips for field trips nobody remembers. Not one damn word about football schedules. Typical school office chaos.
Phone Tag With Coach
Next morning, I called the athletic department. Got passed around like a hot potato – secretary to vice principal to guidance counselor. Finally got Coach’s extension. Left three voicemails over two days. Guy never called back. Figured he was either buried in equipment orders or avoiding parents like the plague.
The Social Media Rabbit Hole
Went scrolling through the school’s official page – nada. Checked booster club groups next. Saw posts from last year’s championship parade, fundraiser car washes, everything EXCEPT schedule info. Then clicked some player’s profile and fell into meme hell for an hour. Totally useless.
Finally cracked it when my neighbor’s kid dragged home this crumpled sheet:
- August 5th – Equipment handout (bring mouthguard $$ cash only)
- August 7th – Mandatory concussion testing clinic
- August 12th – First contact practice at the turf field
Turns out freshmen & sophomores start two days earlier than varsity. Would’ve saved me two weeks of hassle if they’d just emailed this crap to parents. Now I gotta trade shifts at work and figure out carpool logistics. Just another fall season with high school sports!