This whole football coach hiring mess kicked off because everyone at Maple Mountain was pissed about last season. Total disaster – players fighting in the locker room, parents screaming at each other during games, that cringy loss to Riverside High where we didn’t even score once. Yeah, we needed someone new, like yesterday.
How It Went Down
The athletic director tapped me to help out since I’m always volunteering for stuff. First thing Tuesday morning, we’re sitting in those awful plastic chairs in his office with two booster club moms.
- The Expectations Part: Scribbled like crazy on a whiteboard. Needed someone who wouldn’t bail after one bad season, who actually knew how to teach blocking techniques instead of just yelling. Had to promise not to bench star players just because their grades slipped slightly. Oh, and no more running the same three plays all season.
- The Resume Pile: Got twenty-three applications. Some were laughable – like that guy who coached middle school flag football last summer thinking that qualified him. Another dude wrote his whole resume in comic sans font. Seriously.
The Background Check Grind
Thursday morning, we narrowed it down to three guys. Felt good about Coach Thompson – played college ball, references sounded solid. Standard stuff, right? Sent off the background check request and waited.
Friday afternoon, the report came back clean. Too clean. Like suspiciously spotless. Made me twitchy – everyone’s got some kind of paper trail. Even a speeding ticket.
Saturday morning, I brewed a whole pot of coffee and started digging deeper myself. Searched county records near his last coaching job in Ohio. Found it buried in the Butler County database – a DUI arrest from four years back under his full legal name, Robert Thompson III. Not on the official report we paid for.
Called the booster club president. “Hey Brenda, put the coffee on. We need to talk about Coach Bob.” Drove over to her place, showed her the printout. Her face went pale.
The Confrontation
Monday morning meeting. Coach Thompson walks in all smiles. Athletic director slides the printout across the table. “Care to explain this, Robert?”
Guy turned beet red. Said it was “one mistake,” that he was stressed when his dad got sick, blah blah. Said the background service missed it because he used “Bobby Thompson” on his application. Smooth.
How We Handled It
- Made him take breathalyzer tests before practice for the whole first season. Random ones.
- Put him on a strict probation period with zero tolerance policy.
- That car mechanic cousin of Brenda’s? We hired him as an “assistant” coach. Mostly just watches Coach Bob like a hawk.
Moral of the story? Background checks ain’t worth the paper they’re printed on half the time. Sometimes you gotta be the one to dig through the digital dirt yourself.