Right so you know how I’m always complaining about wasting money on tennis balls? Last Tuesday I grabbed four cans of fresh Wilson US Opens – yeah the yellow ones – and thought screw it let’s finally track this properly.
The Setup
Pulled apart my garage for this. Stuck masking tape on a concrete wall for a target. Dug out three types of balls: Brand new ones straight from the can, practice balls from my bag that looked okay-ish, and some total dog shit balls from under the couch that my dog chewed. Marked each can with sharpie – “Fresh,” “Used,” “Dead.” Felt kinda like a mad scientist.
Testing Routine
Every morning before work I’d do this:
- Smash 50 forehands at full power against the wall
- Rotate balls every 10 hits so they wear evenly
- Record bounce height with my phone – stood a ruler next to the wall
- Pressed thumb into them hard checking fluffiness
Kept my logbook like some obsessive weirdo:
- Day 1: Fresh balls bounced hip height. The dead ones? Barely past my ankles.
- Day 3: That new ball fluff started shedding like my cat in summer.
- Day 7: Noticed the “Used” ones felt like hitting rocks. Made my elbow hurt.
That Oh Shit Moment
Around noon on Day 5 I realized something. When I opened that first can? That “psst” sound was way weaker than I remembered from last summer. Pressed my ear to the next can – practically silent. Turns out those balls sat in my trunk through winter. Explains why they died after just 20 hours of whacking.
The kicker? Those “Dead” balls lasted another damn week. Probably ’cause they couldn’t die twice. But get this – the fresh cans? They crapped out around 40 hours total wall bashing. My coach was right – balls don’t really pop like in cartoons. They just turn into sad little rocks slowly.
What Actually Matters
- Storing balls in hot cars murders them faster than my backhand
- That “new can smell” means nothing if they’re old stock
- Your elbow knows when balls are dead long before your brain does
Changed my whole routine now. I rotate balls like they’re milk cartons. Expired after three weeks max. Saved me more cash than those bullshit “ball saver” gadgets ever did.