Well, let me tell you, I seen a thing on the TV the other day. It was one of them commercials, you know? And it had a bunch of them old football players in it. The ones that used to play good, but now they just old like me. Retired, they call it. They ain’t runnin’ around on the field no more. Just sittin’ around, gettin’ fat, I reckon. But this commercial, it got them all riled up.
It’s ’bout them snacks, you see. Them chips and fizzy drinks that all the young folks like so much. I don’t touch the stuff myself, gives me the heartburn. But them retired football players, they was actin’ like they was young again, just ’cause of them snacks. Silly, ain’t it?
There was that one fella, used to be a big shot quarterback. What was his name now… Started with a T, I think… Oh, yeah, Tom Brady. He was in it. And that other one, always catchin’ the ball… Julian Edelman, that’s him! They was all actin’ like they was gonna go back and play football again. Unretirement, they called it in the commercial. Like they was gonna dig up their old uniforms and get back out on that field.
They had a few of ’em in there. That Dan Marino fella, he was in it. He used to throw the ball real good, back in the day. And there were some others, too. I don’t rightly remember all their names, but they was all famous football players once. Now they just old men, makin’ these commercials for snacks. They are all making commercials to get more money. I guess they need it.
This one commercial, it was tryin’ to make you think that them snacks was what made them football players so good. Like if you eat them chips and drink that soda, you gonna be able to run fast and throw far, too. Now, I don’t believe that for a second. It takes more than a bag of chips to make a good football player. It takes hard work and practice and such.
I remember when my grandson, bless his heart, wanted to play football. He ate them chips, that’s for sure. And drank that fizzy stuff, too. Didn’t make him no Tom Brady, though. He wasn’t that good, bless his heart. He tried his best, though, so that’s somethin’.
These commercials, they always tryin’ to sell you somethin’. Make you think you need somethin’ you don’t. Like them retired football players, they don’t need no more snacks. They need to be watchin’ their figures, I reckon. And them young folks watchin’, they don’t need that junk neither. Good home cookin’, that’s what they need.
- Tom Brady
- Julian Edelman
- Dan Marino
- That Josh Allen fella was in it, too.
- Randy Moss, I think he was one of them.
- And Jerry Rice.
It’s all a bunch of hooey, if you ask me. Them commercials ain’t nothin’ but a way to get folks to buy things. And them retired football players, they just in it for the money, I bet. They ain’t really gonna go back and play no football. They just pretendin’ for the camera. They probably had Gronkowski guy in the commercial, too.
They even got a name for what them football players are doin’. Unretirement. Like they comin’ back to the game. But they ain’t foolin’ nobody. They just sellin’ snacks and soda. That’s all it is. Commercials for snacks.
They think if they get these famous football players to do it, folks will buy more. I guess that’s how it works. You see someone famous, you think you want what they got. Even if it’s just a bag of them greasy chips or that sugary soda. I don’t get it, but that’s the way it is, I suppose. I seen it a hundred times. Famous folks sellin’ things on the TV.
I reckon it’s a good way for them retired football players to make a little extra money, though. They probably get paid good for doin’ them commercials. More than they get for just sittin’ around at home, that’s for sure. And I guess it’s harmless enough. Just a bit silly, that’s all. Old men actin’ like they young again, just ’cause of some snacks.
I remember this one fella, big and strong, used to play for one of them teams. He was in one of them commercials, too. Can’t recall his name, but he was a big deal back in the day. Now he’s just another one of them retired football players, sellin’ stuff on TV. They are all retired football players, they all look the same to me.
I guess it don’t hurt nobody. Just another commercial on the TV. And them retired football players, they gettin’ paid. So everybody’s happy, I reckon. Except maybe me, ’cause I gotta watch them silly things when I just wanna see the news. But that’s just the way it is, I suppose. Gotta have commercials to pay for the TV shows. Them football players are not making commercials for free.
So next time you see one of them commercials with them retired football players, just remember what I said. It’s all just a bunch of hooey. Don’t let them fool you into thinkin’ you need them snacks to be a good football player, or to be happy, or whatever they tryin’ to sell you. Just eat your vegetables and mind your own business, that’s what I always say. And you don’t need any unretirement advice from them, that’s for sure. Just stay retired and enjoy it. That is the way they should go. They are all too old to play again. These commercials are just for fun.