Alright, listen up, y’all. Gonna tell ya ’bout these here road closures for the NFL draft. Don’t wanna get stuck now, do ya? They’re shuttin’ down streets left and right, makin’ it a real mess to get around.
First off, they started messin’ with the roads way back when, like, March 27th or somethin’. Said they had 30 days to get things ready. Thirty days! That’s a whole month of fussin’ and fixin’. Then, come April 23rd, they really started closin’ things down good. Ford Garage, that underground thingy? Yeah, you could still get in there ’til Tuesday, but after that, good luck!
Now, they’re talkin’ ’bout phases, like it’s some big important thing. Phase three, they call it. Happening over at Campus Martius Park and Hart Plaza. That’s where all the fancy folks gonna be, I reckon. Started Saturday, six in the mornin’. Bright and early, them city slickers were out there puttin’ up barricades. Can’t even drive my old pickup through there no more.
- Phase One: Started way back in March, just a little bit of bother.
- Phase Two: Things got serious ’round April 23rd, Ford Garage access changed.
- Phase Three: The big one! Campus Martius and Hart Plaza all shut down.
And get this, they’re closin’ roads for all sorts of “Draft-related activities.” What kinda activities, you ask? Beats me. Probably a bunch of hoo-ha and carryin’ on. They got concerts and such, and all them football fellas strutting around. They say entry to the draft is free, so I guess that’s somethin’. But free ain’t worth much if you can’t even get there.
They’re sayin’ Wednesday, April 24th, at one minute past midnight, more roads are gonna be blocked off. A whole bunch of ’em. Public streets, they call ’em. More like public nuisances, if you ask me. They’re makin’ it real hard for folks to get around. Gotta plan your whole day ’round these closures.
Now, they’re sayin’ the best way to get downtown is to park somewhere else and take a shuttle. They got these SMART shuttles, they call ’em. Supposed to be cheap and easy. I don’t know about that. Nothin’s ever easy in this city, ‘specially when they start closin’ roads.
So, if you gotta go downtown for this here NFL draft, you better pay attention. These road closures ain’t no joke. They’re gonna have ‘em everywhere. You don’t wanna be drivin’ around in circles, gettin’ all turned around. Best thing to do is plan ahead, figure out where you’re goin’, and how you’re gonna get there. And if you can avoid downtown altogether? Well, that might just be the smartest thing to do.
They keep talkin’ about the “build out.” Buildin’ out what? A whole bunch of temporary stuff, I bet. Then they gotta tear it all down again. Seems like a whole lot of trouble just to watch some fellas throw a ball around. But folks seem to like it, so what do I know?
And listen to this, they say “wherever there are road closures”. Well, duh! That ain’t tellin’ me nothin’. They gotta be more specific than that. Folks need to know exactly which roads are closed, and when. Can’t just go around sayin’ “wherever.” That ain’t helpful.
So, there ya have it. A whole heap of trouble with these road closures for the NFL draft. Just remember, plan ahead, take the shuttle if you can, and try to stay outta the way of all the fuss. And if you see me stuck in traffic, just honk and wave. I’ll probably be the one cussin’ and complainin’ the loudest.
It sounds like a big to-do, this draft. Hope they don’t mess up the roads too bad. Gotta get to the grocery store, you know. Can’t be havin’ no football game gettin’ in the way of my groceries. And another thing, all these people comin’ into town… where are they gonna park? Where are they gonna eat? It’s gonna be a madhouse, I tell ya. A real madhouse.
So that’s the story on these road closures for NFL draft, straight from the source, so to speak. Just tryin’ to keep y’all informed. Now you can’t say nobody told ya. Good luck gettin’ around, and God bless.