Well, look at this, we gonna talk about them Eastern Mountain Sports women’s shorts. You know, the ones them city gals wear when they pretendin’ to be all outdoorsy? I seen ’em at the market, all bright colors and fancy pockets. Makes a body wonder what all the fuss is about.
First off, these shorts, they say they’re for “hiking” and “adventures.” Now, I ain’t never needed special shorts for hoein’ the garden or feedin’ the chickens, but I guess city folk different. They got pockets, that’s for sure. Some got zippers, some just flaps. Good for holdin’ keys, I reckon, or maybe a phone so you can take pictures of all them trees. Lord knows they ain’t gonna be pickin’ no berries with them fancy pants on.
Then there’s the material. Says here some are made of cotton. Cotton’s good, I s’pose. But then they talk about “quick dry” and “lightweight.” Sounds like they scared of a little sweat to me. Back in my day, you worked up a sweat, you just let it dry. No need for fancy fabrics. But I guess if you’re climbin’ them mountains, you don’t wanna be all soggy.
- Pockets: Some shorts got zippered pockets, some got those flap kind. Good for keepin’ things safe I guess.
- Material: Cotton or that quick-dry stuff. Cotton’s alright, but this quick dry thing, that’s new to me.
- Sizes and Colors: Come in all sorts of sizes and colors. Like a rainbow, almost.
Now, these shorts, they come in all sorts of colors, too. Green, black, gray, even pink! Land sakes, who needs pink shorts for climbin’ a mountain? But I guess they wanna look pretty while they’re pretendin’ to rough it. And the sizes, well, they got sizes for everyone, from them skinny little things to them bigger gals. That’s good, I s’pose. Everybody deserves a pair of shorts, even if they just wearin’ ’em to the grocery store.
They got these shorts on sale sometimes, too. Up to 70% off, they say. That’s a good deal, I reckon. But even on sale, they probably cost more than my Sunday dress. Still, if you got the money and you wanna feel like you’re an adventurer, go ahead and buy ’em. Just don’t come cryin’ to me when you snag ’em on a briar bush.
I heard tell that these Eastern Mountain Sports folks, they been sellin’ these shorts for a long time. And they got stores all over the place, not just in the city. Even had some troubles with money and sellin’ the company and such. Folks are always fightin’ over money, ain’t they? But they still makin’ them shorts, so I guess somebody’s buyin’ ‘em. Maybe they really are good for somethin’ after all.
So, what’s the bottom line on these shorts? Well, they seem sturdy enough, I guess. And they got lots of pockets, which is handy. But for my money, a good pair of overalls is just as good, and a whole lot cheaper. But hey, if you wanna feel fancy and you got the cash, go ahead and get yourself some Eastern Mountain Sports women’s shorts. Just don’t expect ‘em to make you a real mountain woman. That takes more than just a pair of shorts.
But you know what? If them shorts make them city gals happy, then more power to ‘em. We all gotta find our own way to enjoy the world, even if it means wearin’ pink shorts to climb a mountain. Just remember, a good pair of work boots and a strong back will get you a lot further than any fancy shorts ever will. That’s the truth, plain and simple.
And remember to wash ’em good after you wear ’em. Nothin’ worse than a pair of stinky shorts, ‘specially when you paid good money for ’em.
Tags: [Eastern Mountain Sports, Womens Shorts, Hiking Shorts, Outdoor Apparel, Sale, Pockets, Cotton, Quick Dry, Adventure]